


Peter Lukas and the Curious Cabinet

by some_nights



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Divorce Shenanigans, Humor, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:40:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21536839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/some_nights/pseuds/some_nights
Summary: Peter has nothing to do and decides to find out what Elias keeps in the locked cabinet in his office.Takes place during season 4.
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas
Comments: 22
Kudos: 128





	Peter Lukas and the Curious Cabinet

**Author's Note:**

> This might be the most ridiculous thing I've ever written (yes, [including the fic where Archie Andrews and his dog swap bodies](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17441504)) and I apologise in advance. Have fun!

Peter enjoyed traversing the floors of the institute unseen. There was a certain glee to be found in someone walking past him, completely unaware of his presence. If they had a general feeling of loneliness about them, it was even better.

Now that he was head of the institute, he'd taken care to isolate employees as much as possible - with some help, of course. Peter didn't like depending on other people but he truly did despise computers; they were a wretched invention he'd observed as it had developed from an interesting experiment into an instrument to connect people all over the world. The thought alone made him shudder in disgust. At least one cousin had informed him that there was a special kind of loneliness to be found on the internet, one that could not be found anywhere else. Peter didn't doubt it - he was simply too old-fashioned to get into it.

He made his way towards the room that had previously been Elias's office. In theory, he supposed, it was his now, but he felt he didn't spend enough time in it to warrant such a claim. A more accurate description would probably be "Martin's workplace". Peter liked his assistant. Not in the traditional sense but in the sense that, with the Archivist gone, he'd been the perfect victim. By the time the Archivist had come back, he’d had already been too entangled in Peter's narrative. Elias had warned him not to underestimate the guy and Peter wasn't going to; he carefully fed Martin just enough information to keep him interested but not enough for him to come to any unwanted conclusions. Truth to be told, Peter was quite proud of himself.

When he entered the office he found it empty which was a bit of a disappointment. He'd been looking forward to seeing how Martin's descent into the Lonely was progressing. Since that wouldn't be possible without the guy actually present, he guessed he could try to do some admin work for once. No tape recorders in sight which was always appreciated. Peter despised these things, they always seemed to appear whenever something was about to happen and Elias had yet to fill him in on what powered them. Even to him, it was obvious that they were anything but ordinary.

Peter didn't really mind not knowing stuff - when it came to people, he actually preferred it. This had ended one of their marriages; Elias's weakness for gossip and petty interpersonal drama was, in Peter's opinion, his worst quality; it was only rendered bearable by the sheer meanspiritness Elias displayed in the matter. Peter would have preferred a husband who was more introspective but since Elias was a most preferable match in many other aspects, this major fault could be overlooked.

It wasn't the "not knowing" that bothered Peter about the tape recorders; it was the fact that they occupied a role that was usually his. They were silent observers, present without partaking. Peter didn't like being on the other side of this.

His eyes wandered through the office and landed on a wooden cabinet. More than once, he'd seen Elias carefully locking it; to this day, Peter didn't know what was inside.

Just because he didn't like unknown variables didn't mean he was immune to curiosity so he made his way over to it. The cabinet was locked, as usual; however, Elias had given Peter the keys to pretty much everything at the institute - he was the head now, after all. He pulled the keyring out and tried a few. To his surprise, none of them fit. Now, he was not only curious - he was suspicious. He contemplated his options for a while and, in the end, decided, to break the cabinet open. He knew there was a crowbar somewhere in this office because he remembered teasing Elias when he'd first gotten it.

As Peter was struggling to force the wooden doors open, leaning against the crowbar with his whole weight, he realised he could have just unscrewed the lock or something. It was too late now though - the door gave way to Peter's relentless efforts and, with the counterbalance suddenly removed, he fell into the closed door of the cabinet and cursed. This would definitely get him a bruise. He sincerely hoped Elias wasn't watching. In the institute, he was never able to tell whether the feeling at the nape of his neck was Elias actually focusing his attention on him or just the general power of the Eye flowing through this place.

Peter opened the cabinet door his face had bumped into and found himself assaulted once again. This time, a flood of paperback books rained down on him. When Peter picked one up and examined it more closely, he was shaken to his core.

“He’s expecting you”, the prison guard said. Peter didn't acknowledge them, he just went into the cell he knew so well.

“I want a divorce”, he said in lieu of a greeting.

“Again?”, Elias asked. He had the audacity to look _amused_. With the way he was grinning, Peter was now sure he'd seen the mishap with the door before.

“Yes. Again. And don’t pretend you don’t know why.”

Elias leaned back in his chair. “Oh, do enlighten me, sweetheart.”

Peter just glared. He would not say it.

His husband sighed. "You're such a spoilsport sometimes, you know that? Anyway, would it really be worth the paperwork? Just because our…” he seemed to be looking for the right word. A rare occurrence. “literary tastes don't align?”

“Yes”, Peter said. They had gotten divorced over more petty reasons. Peter was pretty sure Elias had started the divorce process at least once because he'd been bored.

“My dear, this would make everything so much more complicated! It makes sense for my husband to inherit everything I own; you are, after all, my next of kin, legally speaking. But my ex?”

He had a point. Peter didn't care and folded his arms over his chest in defiance.

“You're a smart man; I'm sure you can figure it out.”

Another sigh as Elias leaned forward. “All this over a bunch of books.”

“Not just any books, Elias.”

At first, Peter had been confused. The book in his hand seemed to be the wrong way around. When he’d turned it around, he’d seen a big breasted young woman coyly looking up at him through a pair of glasses. “Is love in the air?”, the title had said. The most horrifying part of it, though, had been the number behind the title. 75. Upon further investigation, Peter had realised the pile that had assaulted him consisted of countless books of the same kind - some part of a series, others solo issues, most with a woman looking coy on the cover who was sometimes next to a suave looking guy. Almost every title had ha “love” in it, at least those that had been in English. Peter wasn’t sure what language the other titles had been in but he was semi-confident it had been Japanese.

As he’d flipped through the pages of the first issue “Is love in the air?”, his despair had grown with every word his eyes landed on. The comic had not only been more cheesy than any even half reasonable person could bear, but it had also been terribly written. When he’d seen enough, Peter had calmly gotten up, locked the door to the office (no need for anyone else to discover this embarrassing secret), and made his way to the jail.

Elias shrugged. “I admit, they might not be high literature, but every man needs a hobby.”

“I thought your hobby was manipulating people into uncomfortable situations.”

“No, that’s my _job_. I won’t deny that I enjoy my work but, once in a while, a man needs to wind down. I’ve always enjoyed the odd romance novel; in fact, if you were to peruse the shelves in my personal library, you would find quite a few. Shoujo manga, however, have a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that most western romance novels lack. Even after extensive research, I cannot quite pin it down.”

Peter was dumbstruck, at an utter loss for words.

“At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself, darling: Are you that much of a cultural snob that you would divorce your twelveth-time husband over his choice of books?”

Peter considered everything they'd been through; their first divorce which had been messy and cost Peter a considerable amount of money (after that one, he'd insisted on a prenup every time); their second divorce which Peter had initiated because he'd just been so annoyed with Elias. Their third to eighth divorce, all over petty reasons, all quick affairs that had become irrelevant just as quickly because they'd remarried not much later. Their lawyer lost a lot of hair during those years. Divorce number nine, over a bet. The tenth divorce - now, that one had hurt a lot. Peter preferred not to think about it. Number eleven, the usual spiel. And now number twelve. Possibly the last one, considering their plans for the future.

This marriage had been one of their best ones, mostly due to the fact that Elias was in jail and could, for the time being, not go anywhere; more importantly, he couldn’t force Peter to go anywhere. But.

"I’ve never had a problem with you being a manipulative egocentric megalomaniac and, over the years, I’ve learned to accept most of your faults. But Elias… I have to draw the line somewhere.”

 _“Sou desu ka”_ , Elias sighed.

**Author's Note:**

> “ _Sou desu ka_ ” - ”Is that right?”; used as an acknowledgement of what’s being said. 
> 
> What? You're saying Peter wouldn't actually visit Elias in his cell but in some sort of visitor's room? Consider this: The guy literally walked out of prison without anyone really stopping him so I'm pretty sure the guards would let his husband through.
> 
> Disclaimer: I have read many a manga myself, some good, some bad, some utterly terrible. Peter Lukas's views do not reflect my own (this is true in almost every instance but especially in this one).  
> I've purposefully not named any real series but I am sure my fellow fans can picture exactly the kind of manga Elias likes to read.
> 
> Thank you for reading this fic that's less "self-indulgent" and more "this concept was stuck in my brain and I had to get it out". I was pretty hesitant about posting this so if you enjoyed it, I'd very much appreciate a comment. As always, you can find me on [tumblr](https://writtelings.tumblr.com/).  
> A huge shout-out to my girlfriend; I'd never have written this without her. Babe, I'm sorry and I love you.


End file.
